Mary's Muse

Mormon Missionaries Start Early

A 12-year-old girl knocked on our door yesterday to ask Miss Responsibility if she wanted to play.  I thought that was odd, since this girl shines around only about once a year.  Today, I found out why she came.  

The doorbell rang and Miss R. opened it to talk to the girl.  I was downstairs doing laundry so I couldn't be any part of the conversation.  And oooooh, you can bet I wanted to be part of that conversation.  No, Miss R. explained, she couldn't play right now because she had some responsibilities that needed attention at home.

But then the other shoe dropped.  "We're having a beach party down at the such-and-such ward church tomorow night.  Want to come?  It's for young men and women.  It's just like scouts."  Just like scouts.  Hmmm ... indoctrination in the Mormon faith in this part of the country happens in public schools, scouts, and little parties just like this one.  Miss R. is very sturdy in our faith, but she's also young and easily influenced.  During quiet times at home, questions surface about our faith that I never knew she was harboring.  Besides this fact, I don't want my 13 yog attracting any Mormon boys.

Miss R. begged off because she has choir tomorrow night.  it's good to be involved in Catholic activities.  Now, if *I* were privy to this conversation, I might have said something like, "It's so much fun.  And you get to have free voice lessons.  Want to join us?"  Why not join this little tennis game and volley that ball back into their court?  I'd like to fluster them a bit.  I'd like to share some of OUR literature and study the Catholic faith with them.

No Politicians in This Family!

Zookeeper to a friend who is visiting for his birthday party:  "You and I both know that we like Surfer Dude (a mutual friend) much better than we like each other."

What, I'm wondering, is the friend to whom he is speaking going to want to give him for his birthday?  I'd venture to guess NOTHING!  There's just nothing like honesty from a 10 year old, is there?  And we've determined that this child, at least, will not fit into political circles.

I must admit, however, that he gets his brutal honesty from me.  Just ask any of my family or friends who have been subject to it before. :o/  I'm working on it, I'm working on it.

Another Little Garden

 We have several little and big garden spaces in our yard that need weeding and filling.  Gardening is gratifying.  I get almost as attached to plants as I do to animals! We're finally, in some small ways, making this house and yard our own.  I tackle one garden area at a time.  And I even like how slowly I'm doing things because:

 

I'm choosing plants as we can afford it,

 

I have a deep need to do physically challenging outdoor work

 

but at the same time, I can only plant so many things before wearing out,

 

And this way, I can choose as I see things blooming through the year.

 

So I haven't finished, but here's the start of garden spot #2.

 

 

The Habit of Attention

Do your kids get your full attention when it's needful?  In a world where screens provide games and entertainment and take the place of human faces and cell phones and e-mail take the place of quality time, I've slid into complacence more than once.  I've since recommitted to my kids.  I don't want my kids growing up thinking that they're an unwelcome distraction.  This can be downright difficult.  If I'm planning for next year's school, a yard sale, a party, ... whatever ... I can be off in plan-ville without even realizing it.  Therefore, this recommitment means I'm working hard on giving my kids my wholehearted attention when they need it.  And I don't mean sitting down with them and staring them in the eyes all the time.  Sometimes, I can be making dinner or tending the baby.  Often, Miss Responsibility and I have nice chats while folding fresh laundry.

I've got a few recent examples, here.  Baby robins were born recently in our walnut tree.  Today was push-the-chicks-out-of-the-nest-day.  One of the babies either fell badly or was killed after the fall by one of our cats.  Zookeeper watched a second one take a "not so happy landing."  We all were able to take a close-up look at the little fellow.  Which attracted the cat.  Which set off the robin's parents and any number of aunts and uncles and cousins.  The alarm was sounded.  The chase was on.  The cat was caught and sent indoors to mew pitifully at the window, lamenting the one who got away.  And the one who got away shuffled off clumsily through the fence and into the neighbor's yard.

Drama Queen took Daddy for a walk around the yard to check the progress of the peach and apple trees after which she informed me that I have to make some pies when this fruit ripens.  She chatters so much that it's difficult to discern when what she says is important.  That's why I try to stay tuned in.

And Miss Responsibility, who is 13.5, told me about a series of books she's been reading from the library of which I had been suspicious.  When she started the conversation with, "I don't know whether I want to read this series anymore, ... "  I was all ears.  Turns out, somewhere in the middle of this series, talk about sex becomes frequent and the main character's friend, a 15-year-old, has had "it" before.  Lovely.  Miss R. and I discussed how reading stuff like that can be an occasion to sin and how, even dwelling on the topic too long after you've read about it can be sinful.  The books are going back to the library tomorrow.  Miss R. is happy to have been redirected to Beany Malone,  Dinny and Dreamdust, and An Orchid for Pat.  There are plenty more from which to choose after she's exhausted these.  Some of my favorite authors for this maturity level are:  Margot Benary-Isbert (of which I can speak personally for The Ark, Rowan Farm, The Long Way Home, and Under a Changing Moon), Allen French,  Elizabeth Enright, Elizabeth George Speare, Eleanor Estes for lighter reads,  Eleanor Jewett, and Hilda van Stockum. 

The more we open ourselves for conversations with our kids, the more we get to know who they are becoming.  It's exciting to know how compassionate and discerning they are.  It's thrilling when someone comes to me with a question about the faith and we ponder it together.  And it's comforting to know that our children go to bed satisfied that they are treasured because we take the time and energy required to deliberately and actively listen to them.

What a Party!

We had food.  We had drink.  We had music and dancing.  And we had fireworks! 

Belated Happy Independence Day!

Learning to Read

I've taught ~ and I use that term loosely as one of my children taught himself ~ five children how to read now and I can only tell you one thing.  No reading "program" can teach children to read.  I've tried the bells and whistles kind of programs and I've tried the plain Jane.  Niether worked.

What has worked has been waiting for that child to show an interest.  My 3 year old is there now.  Don't laugh.  My oldest daughter learned to read when she was 3.  My next reader waited until he was 8.  Both of them love reading and are thriving in a Classical and Charlotte Mason learning environment. 

Also, I like to offer variety every day.  Some of the resources we've used that have helped follow.

Usborne Easy to Read series

Usborne Farmyard Tales which offer two different stories, one easier to read and one for a more advanced reader.

 And games, lots of games.   I find that when there hands are busy, their minds follow suit.

Finding my own reality

This article is a timely reminder to view my children as gifts. Honestly, there are some days when I think, "When so-and-so moves out, we'll be able to spread out so that three and four children don't have to share rooms / we'll be able to downsize from that 15-passenger van / our sparse vacations won't require two hotel rooms and maybe, just MAYBE we'll be able to go more often than once every five years " ... and the list continues ad infinitum.  Just as quickly as I think one of those thoughts, I think of another.  God has given me these gifts.  What I do with these gifts is my gift to God.

In that case, why in the world am I hurrying so much toward that minivan?  While my husband and I crave peace and time with each other, we realize that we must cultivate these gifts to give back the best we can, in our limited earthly experience, to our Redeemer, who has given so much more than we can possibly give to us.

As I mull these thoughts, my gifts are changing.  Rapidly.  The one who was first awake during the school year, now lolls in bed until I sail past with a sing-song wake up call or two ~ whatever happened to the good old alarm clock?  The one with whom I had difficulty getting any academic work out of is powering through boy scout merit badges.  My peaceful, compassionate child turned recalcitrant and stubborn and gets offended easily.  The one that used to take offense from his brothers, doesn't. 

The kids weave in and out of friendships with each other.  It's interesting to observe their new behaviors.  Growing is sometimes a forward and backward process.  My kids respond to something in a mature manner, and then later, in a similar situation, they don't.  I don't always understand why this happens, but I try to gear them in the right direction.  My main job, while all this happening, is to watch and pray and listen and pray and teach and pray and correct and ... well, you get the idea.

You Can Tell It's Been a Long Baseball Game When ...

Compass Kid pulls his loose tooth out in right field.  Are we having a Lucy moment?

Wiggly Bug at Bedtime

Wherever you go

My arms are there for you

Holding you tightly,

Shifting you comfortingly,

Letting you rest in the nest of my lap.

We rock.  You roll,

flailing knees and elbows digging into my ribs.

Finally, energy spent, you are gently deposited in your cozy crib.

With one last cry, you sigh and lie;

Sleep overtakes you, my Etu.

 

God's Voice. Again.

I heard His voice.  Again.  I was blabbering on about our boys at Adoration and praying for direction, discernment, and focus for them when right over the top of all my noise, I heard Him say, "Bring them to me."  Clear as day.  And He's given me this message before, regarding my husband.  I have to act on it regardless of how Epimethius complains it messes up his school day or how we complain how little we get done at the house.  I HAVE to follow God's will in this matter.

 

So later today, I'll give my boys the gift of time with Jesus.